Thank you for this Prue. 'Authenticity' is a theme/concept/way of 'being' that exercises my thoughts and reflections a lot...and I feel that's a good thing. I came to realise a long time ago that I had no idea who I was as a distinct personality and that I was made up of little bits of other people who had influenced my life up to that point...mainly to my detriment. If I did have any 'personality' then it was totally fragmented...like (as you say) I was a jigsaw, but there was no picture on the box to guide me as to how to complete it. My writing on Substack through 'Humanitas' is an attempt to articulate the lessons I've learned, and continue to learn, about how to find that authenticity we all need to practise in order to be fully human. Have a good day, you and yours :)
you are not alone, not at all. you have written my thoughts better than i can, so i'll say ditto to be a mish mash of what I thought others expectations of me were/are, and golly wouldn't a picture on the box help
I suspect we all live dual lives. The public/private persona. The hidden truths. How do we find authenticity with all that input?
I like the idea that the jigsaw has no picture to copy - I guess we start with the corners and straight edges, using mega-patience, until an image starts to emerge...
What a very interesting and thought-provoking topic Prue! I have been mulling the question of authenticity and clothes since I read this. I was dong fine with my clothing choices and general style until I moved to the UK, and since then I have struggled to figure out what to wear. I associated the struggle with the drastic change in climate, and that is small part. But I think now perhaps the struggle signifies more about my internal struggle to identify who I am in this other place, as there is no clear, current 'authentic me' to hang my wardrobe on anymore. Plus, all the body shape-changing that comes with age, and more recently, working with a trainer to improve my physical strength and endurance. Very much to think about as we move into the warmer time of year and my overall happiness and wardrobe brightens! I look forward to checking out your links as well. Thanks so much for this Prue!
I understand what you are saying - its almost a culture shift and you have to find your place in it. And age-ing too, is a culture shift. Do we all want to look like Iris Apfel or Princess Catharine or can we navigate between the extremes until we find our authentic look, our authentic place?
I suspect for me, it will be something I struggle with for some time. Perhaps I'll aspire to get out of a rut and then I'll think but why? If I'm happiest in coastal clothes, doesn't the happiness stand for something? Doesn't that point to a modicum of authenticity?
PS: I like brights - they make me happy - none of this constant black!!!! So I look forward to you describing your brights on any one day. (See Pillowbook of Prudence) ;)
I was quite struck when I pulled out my warmer weather clothes this last week how bright and colourful they are. They are mostly my 'old me' clothes, my California Clothes, and the ones I am happiest in. But of course I need the warmer weather in order to be comfortable in them. But it is a clue, isn't it? I'll try to find some way to incorporate this topic-it's a good one!
I just saw an add for a shocking-pink merino wool sweater with an almost vermilion merino wool scarf and I thought to myself I could wear that in winter and be quite happy!
oh Prue, i will be right there with you, I feel most comfortable in comfy, not fussy, easy to wear easy to care for clothing, things that allow me to be outside, moving my body without a moment of worry about dirt. As my auto immune system is doing it's own thing these days they must also keep me warm lest i sieze up and ache and also keep me protected from the sunlight, due to sensitivities from the meds required to keep me moving,
I do wonder and worry 'should' i be dressing differently, should i be caring more? But then when i try to change my attire i'm uncomfortable, awkward, self conscious and don't feel like me. Knowing myself well enough to know what is authentic and be authentic seems to get harder the older i get.
I feel for you with the auto-immune disease and the effect the meds have - especially when one just wants to live. The one advantage of 21st century clothing for the outdoors is that it is stretchy, warm, cool, breathes - what's not to like?
With respect to authenticity, I wonder, Kate, if the difficulties are evident because we have had so much input over the years and we store it all - so that it then becomes that jigsaw I mentioned. Half the time I think I'm missing the pieces.
I feel the most authentic when I'm bare-foot on the beach or working in the garden. Even writing my novels seems inauthentic, even though I love disappearing into settings and living with characters. But selling novels require one to be upfront and out there. Not really a choice I'd make willingly.
And so we reach for those leggings, for that stretch sports top, the runners and we live our best life. THAT'S being authentic!
i am on a personal quest right now Prue, to reduce the inputs and to sort through those which i have accumulated over the years, because I feel over full, like a computer with no space left. I need to de-frag the whole system to free up space, there is a lot of stored junk, out of date and no longer useful, if indeed it ever was. I'm hoping I'll be left with just the real and honest bits of me.
My health is much better, thank you. It's now 5 weeks until surgery (not that I'm counting at all) and I've been so fit and busy this week, I wonder why I'm going under the knife at all. It's so easy to think 'when in doubt stay out' and yet, I know with each attack there's more and more danger of a catastrophic event so I must be sensible.
Lots of wisdom here! I can so identify with your sense that you’re like a computer with no space left! Now, to figure out how to simplify down to the “real and honest bits of me.” 😊
That’s so interesting, Prue, that your novel-writing can feel inauthentic. You’re absolutely spot-on about having to think of so many non-creative concerns while crafting fiction to show to the world!
It's funny really, Susan. I would probably say that it's the exposure to judgement that places my fiction-writing on the edge and yet, surely we expose ourselves just as much or even more on Substack. What's the difference, I wonder?
That’s really interesting! Especially since we fiction writers can hide behind our characters 😉 Maybe because online writing can be “here today, possibly forgotten tomorrow”—while the stakes for novel-writing are much higher…and the time and emotional investment are way greater!
I, too ,think about authenticity a lot. After having Cancer the first time, I read a wonderful book, Close to the Bone by Jean Shinola Broken who obviate how serious illness strips away all things superficial , how recovery becomes A soul journey. I found that after breast cancer x2, I no longer wanted stiff, crisp fabric against my skin. I began A love affair with soft clothing,tops, leggings, crops. A friend and I laugh about trading our wonderful black merino wool winter leggings for our black jersey capris in the spring! Sure makes getting dressed easy! And, more importantly, it feels right for me.
I watched The Beautiful Game this week, moved and astonished I had never heard of the Homeless World Cup! I've been telling friends and family about this wonderful movie and important back story!
Thank you dear Prue for your writing which is always evocative!
Susan, neither my husband nor I had heard of The Homeless World Cup either and felt it was seriously remiss of mainstream media not to report it loudly and proudly. What it must do for the players sense of self and for their experience of teamsmanship and being a part of something good, something positive is huge.
We read quite a lot about it online after watching the movie.
I'm sorry about your battle with cancer - I sincerely hope you are well right now. After working with LGFB, I really could see how such grave illness strips you down to the pure element of basically breathing to continue on. I love your beautiful outlook - 'it feels right...'
That must surely mean its your authentic self, don't you think?
I feel so fortunate to work from home and to work and live in communities that don't demand any particularly business-like attire. Leggings are one of my true loves, as are longer tops/sweaters (jumpers?) to cozy into.
More to your point, I like your jigsaw puzzle analogy. It seems authenticity can be what we need it to be. Despite the above, I can be totally at ease in my mother's vintage Persian lamb jacket, with sparkly jewelry and pinned up hair. When it comes right down to it, I'm not my clothes, though. I'm heart, and song, frustration and doubt. Authenticity, to me, is honoring all of that and finding gratitude in knowing that there are those who take me as I am, warts and all!
Listening to your sweet, nostalgic music as I type. 🧡
I too have the freedom to wear whatever I like whenever. Mostly old garden/farm work clothes. Perhaps that's the lighter part of the jigsaw - the floral bits that are easily put together. But then there are the shadowy bits - the pieces that sit on the table as I try to fit one piece into another.
It's true though - as we age we have the privilege of accepting who we are at long last, and being accepted by others for what we are. For many of us, it's been somewhat tortuous reaching that point.
That's so kind Susan, thank you. But I'm still struggling to find the authentic me.
There was a moment today, when aching after seriously heavy work, I went down to the sea and walked into the cooler water until I was floating, to try and 'cool' the aches. That was definitely authentic me.
How wonderful that you got Mother Nature’s “massage” from the sea! I love that you’ve shared when you fully authentic…and you’ve given me lots to think about. Maybe we all need times when we’re in the flow, when we can let go of our cares and time ceases to matter.
I would normally add gardening into my quiet authentication but this last week has been so physical that I couldn't. It was more hardform landscaping! And too difficult to get machinery into the garden so we did it all by hand! Maybe I shall write about it next week...
Such a thought-provoking post, Prue - and with such wonderful pictures! 📸
I need to feel right in my clothes physically - for me that means comfy trousers and a comfy top - nothing scratchy or itchy - smooth and worn out is what I always reach for, at a time when my own skin is becoming wrinkly and worn out!
As long as I am comfortable and and living life the way I feel best fits both the world and myself, well, that's everything.
This is so very relatable! I have become a bit of a thrift shopper of late mainly because I literally cannot find anything I like in the shops - there doesn't seem to be anything (that I can afford) in between a sparkly, cut off t-shirt with "Imma Star" written on it or awful shapeless things best suited to someone in the final stages of cardigan wearing!! I can't deal with it. Also where are the natural materials - everything is that cringey cheap polyester that I hate. As a result, I am often guilty of buying the same item multiple times - black and white stripes, classic straight pencil skirt - till I recall I am no longer working and no longer require these things. Ack! Soooo like you, back to being 'authentic.' Which in my case is my "formal" or EveryDay Blundstones with nice leggings, an oversized sweater and perhaps a nice scarf that doesn't scream Frump-of-the-Week! Always earrings for me and always a good hair cut. Sometimes a simple necklace too since elegance doesn't have to shout. After all, Chanel's original pieces were all built specifically for comfort and I treasure that logic! Well done, Prue! Love the pic of you and your lovely hubby - and, obviously you are gorgeous in all versions of yourself.
Today is Sunday. We have finished 6 excruciatingly physical days on the farm. We are now back at the coast and oh look, MASSES of fallen leaves and lawns that need mowing, plants that need an autumnal prune, a terrier who is filthy with farm dust (we're still in drought) and requires a bath and a beach walk. So what will I wear on a 20 degree day? Old denim shorts, an old poloshirt, and my old gardening shoes. To be changed to boat shoes for the beach.
And then, when I have time, to scoot back to the beach in swimsuit and wetsuit top (the water has cooled quite a bit!) for a quick dunk to ice out the aches and pains.
Then, leggings, an old Lulu Lemon zip-up and conking out on the couch with my latest Antoine Laurain - he's my latest book-crush.
Thank you for this Prue. 'Authenticity' is a theme/concept/way of 'being' that exercises my thoughts and reflections a lot...and I feel that's a good thing. I came to realise a long time ago that I had no idea who I was as a distinct personality and that I was made up of little bits of other people who had influenced my life up to that point...mainly to my detriment. If I did have any 'personality' then it was totally fragmented...like (as you say) I was a jigsaw, but there was no picture on the box to guide me as to how to complete it. My writing on Substack through 'Humanitas' is an attempt to articulate the lessons I've learned, and continue to learn, about how to find that authenticity we all need to practise in order to be fully human. Have a good day, you and yours :)
you are not alone, not at all. you have written my thoughts better than i can, so i'll say ditto to be a mish mash of what I thought others expectations of me were/are, and golly wouldn't a picture on the box help
Thank you, Michael for reading and commenting.
I suspect we all live dual lives. The public/private persona. The hidden truths. How do we find authenticity with all that input?
I like the idea that the jigsaw has no picture to copy - I guess we start with the corners and straight edges, using mega-patience, until an image starts to emerge...
What a very interesting and thought-provoking topic Prue! I have been mulling the question of authenticity and clothes since I read this. I was dong fine with my clothing choices and general style until I moved to the UK, and since then I have struggled to figure out what to wear. I associated the struggle with the drastic change in climate, and that is small part. But I think now perhaps the struggle signifies more about my internal struggle to identify who I am in this other place, as there is no clear, current 'authentic me' to hang my wardrobe on anymore. Plus, all the body shape-changing that comes with age, and more recently, working with a trainer to improve my physical strength and endurance. Very much to think about as we move into the warmer time of year and my overall happiness and wardrobe brightens! I look forward to checking out your links as well. Thanks so much for this Prue!
I understand what you are saying - its almost a culture shift and you have to find your place in it. And age-ing too, is a culture shift. Do we all want to look like Iris Apfel or Princess Catharine or can we navigate between the extremes until we find our authentic look, our authentic place?
I suspect for me, it will be something I struggle with for some time. Perhaps I'll aspire to get out of a rut and then I'll think but why? If I'm happiest in coastal clothes, doesn't the happiness stand for something? Doesn't that point to a modicum of authenticity?
PS: I like brights - they make me happy - none of this constant black!!!! So I look forward to you describing your brights on any one day. (See Pillowbook of Prudence) ;)
I was quite struck when I pulled out my warmer weather clothes this last week how bright and colourful they are. They are mostly my 'old me' clothes, my California Clothes, and the ones I am happiest in. But of course I need the warmer weather in order to be comfortable in them. But it is a clue, isn't it? I'll try to find some way to incorporate this topic-it's a good one!
I'll look forward to that!
I just saw an add for a shocking-pink merino wool sweater with an almost vermilion merino wool scarf and I thought to myself I could wear that in winter and be quite happy!
ohhh, that sounds superb!
oh Prue, i will be right there with you, I feel most comfortable in comfy, not fussy, easy to wear easy to care for clothing, things that allow me to be outside, moving my body without a moment of worry about dirt. As my auto immune system is doing it's own thing these days they must also keep me warm lest i sieze up and ache and also keep me protected from the sunlight, due to sensitivities from the meds required to keep me moving,
I do wonder and worry 'should' i be dressing differently, should i be caring more? But then when i try to change my attire i'm uncomfortable, awkward, self conscious and don't feel like me. Knowing myself well enough to know what is authentic and be authentic seems to get harder the older i get.
I feel for you with the auto-immune disease and the effect the meds have - especially when one just wants to live. The one advantage of 21st century clothing for the outdoors is that it is stretchy, warm, cool, breathes - what's not to like?
With respect to authenticity, I wonder, Kate, if the difficulties are evident because we have had so much input over the years and we store it all - so that it then becomes that jigsaw I mentioned. Half the time I think I'm missing the pieces.
I feel the most authentic when I'm bare-foot on the beach or working in the garden. Even writing my novels seems inauthentic, even though I love disappearing into settings and living with characters. But selling novels require one to be upfront and out there. Not really a choice I'd make willingly.
And so we reach for those leggings, for that stretch sports top, the runners and we live our best life. THAT'S being authentic!
i am on a personal quest right now Prue, to reduce the inputs and to sort through those which i have accumulated over the years, because I feel over full, like a computer with no space left. I need to de-frag the whole system to free up space, there is a lot of stored junk, out of date and no longer useful, if indeed it ever was. I'm hoping I'll be left with just the real and honest bits of me.
How is your health this week?
I LOVE this idea.
To simplify. It's the essence of living, I think.
My health is much better, thank you. It's now 5 weeks until surgery (not that I'm counting at all) and I've been so fit and busy this week, I wonder why I'm going under the knife at all. It's so easy to think 'when in doubt stay out' and yet, I know with each attack there's more and more danger of a catastrophic event so I must be sensible.
Lots of wisdom here! I can so identify with your sense that you’re like a computer with no space left! Now, to figure out how to simplify down to the “real and honest bits of me.” 😊
Exactly, Susan. That's the battle...
That’s so interesting, Prue, that your novel-writing can feel inauthentic. You’re absolutely spot-on about having to think of so many non-creative concerns while crafting fiction to show to the world!
It's funny really, Susan. I would probably say that it's the exposure to judgement that places my fiction-writing on the edge and yet, surely we expose ourselves just as much or even more on Substack. What's the difference, I wonder?
That’s really interesting! Especially since we fiction writers can hide behind our characters 😉 Maybe because online writing can be “here today, possibly forgotten tomorrow”—while the stakes for novel-writing are much higher…and the time and emotional investment are way greater!
Not sure.
There's certainly a degree of soul-baring in Substack...
I, too ,think about authenticity a lot. After having Cancer the first time, I read a wonderful book, Close to the Bone by Jean Shinola Broken who obviate how serious illness strips away all things superficial , how recovery becomes A soul journey. I found that after breast cancer x2, I no longer wanted stiff, crisp fabric against my skin. I began A love affair with soft clothing,tops, leggings, crops. A friend and I laugh about trading our wonderful black merino wool winter leggings for our black jersey capris in the spring! Sure makes getting dressed easy! And, more importantly, it feels right for me.
I watched The Beautiful Game this week, moved and astonished I had never heard of the Homeless World Cup! I've been telling friends and family about this wonderful movie and important back story!
Thank you dear Prue for your writing which is always evocative!
Susan, neither my husband nor I had heard of The Homeless World Cup either and felt it was seriously remiss of mainstream media not to report it loudly and proudly. What it must do for the players sense of self and for their experience of teamsmanship and being a part of something good, something positive is huge.
We read quite a lot about it online after watching the movie.
I'm sorry about your battle with cancer - I sincerely hope you are well right now. After working with LGFB, I really could see how such grave illness strips you down to the pure element of basically breathing to continue on. I love your beautiful outlook - 'it feels right...'
That must surely mean its your authentic self, don't you think?
I feel so fortunate to work from home and to work and live in communities that don't demand any particularly business-like attire. Leggings are one of my true loves, as are longer tops/sweaters (jumpers?) to cozy into.
More to your point, I like your jigsaw puzzle analogy. It seems authenticity can be what we need it to be. Despite the above, I can be totally at ease in my mother's vintage Persian lamb jacket, with sparkly jewelry and pinned up hair. When it comes right down to it, I'm not my clothes, though. I'm heart, and song, frustration and doubt. Authenticity, to me, is honoring all of that and finding gratitude in knowing that there are those who take me as I am, warts and all!
Listening to your sweet, nostalgic music as I type. 🧡
I too have the freedom to wear whatever I like whenever. Mostly old garden/farm work clothes. Perhaps that's the lighter part of the jigsaw - the floral bits that are easily put together. But then there are the shadowy bits - the pieces that sit on the table as I try to fit one piece into another.
It's true though - as we age we have the privilege of accepting who we are at long last, and being accepted by others for what we are. For many of us, it's been somewhat tortuous reaching that point.
But that may be a discussion for another time.
XXXX
Your authenticity shines in every word of “Knots in the String”! Kindness shines too, in your lovely photos 😊
That's so kind Susan, thank you. But I'm still struggling to find the authentic me.
There was a moment today, when aching after seriously heavy work, I went down to the sea and walked into the cooler water until I was floating, to try and 'cool' the aches. That was definitely authentic me.
How wonderful that you got Mother Nature’s “massage” from the sea! I love that you’ve shared when you fully authentic…and you’ve given me lots to think about. Maybe we all need times when we’re in the flow, when we can let go of our cares and time ceases to matter.
That’s gardening for me!
I would normally add gardening into my quiet authentication but this last week has been so physical that I couldn't. It was more hardform landscaping! And too difficult to get machinery into the garden so we did it all by hand! Maybe I shall write about it next week...
That does sound like some heavy labor! I’d love to hear about your landscaping project in your next post 😊
Such a thought-provoking post, Prue - and with such wonderful pictures! 📸
I need to feel right in my clothes physically - for me that means comfy trousers and a comfy top - nothing scratchy or itchy - smooth and worn out is what I always reach for, at a time when my own skin is becoming wrinkly and worn out!
As long as I am comfortable and and living life the way I feel best fits both the world and myself, well, that's everything.
This is so very relatable! I have become a bit of a thrift shopper of late mainly because I literally cannot find anything I like in the shops - there doesn't seem to be anything (that I can afford) in between a sparkly, cut off t-shirt with "Imma Star" written on it or awful shapeless things best suited to someone in the final stages of cardigan wearing!! I can't deal with it. Also where are the natural materials - everything is that cringey cheap polyester that I hate. As a result, I am often guilty of buying the same item multiple times - black and white stripes, classic straight pencil skirt - till I recall I am no longer working and no longer require these things. Ack! Soooo like you, back to being 'authentic.' Which in my case is my "formal" or EveryDay Blundstones with nice leggings, an oversized sweater and perhaps a nice scarf that doesn't scream Frump-of-the-Week! Always earrings for me and always a good hair cut. Sometimes a simple necklace too since elegance doesn't have to shout. After all, Chanel's original pieces were all built specifically for comfort and I treasure that logic! Well done, Prue! Love the pic of you and your lovely hubby - and, obviously you are gorgeous in all versions of yourself.
Hair, makeup and comfort. Especially shoes!!!
Today is Sunday. We have finished 6 excruciatingly physical days on the farm. We are now back at the coast and oh look, MASSES of fallen leaves and lawns that need mowing, plants that need an autumnal prune, a terrier who is filthy with farm dust (we're still in drought) and requires a bath and a beach walk. So what will I wear on a 20 degree day? Old denim shorts, an old poloshirt, and my old gardening shoes. To be changed to boat shoes for the beach.
And then, when I have time, to scoot back to the beach in swimsuit and wetsuit top (the water has cooled quite a bit!) for a quick dunk to ice out the aches and pains.
Then, leggings, an old Lulu Lemon zip-up and conking out on the couch with my latest Antoine Laurain - he's my latest book-crush.
That's me - authentically...