Authentic...

... for Knots in the String.

During Lockdown I seemed to be wearing the same clothes day after day and when it all settled down, I found I’d completely lost confidence in dressing. For our Lockdown, each day I pulled on jeans and a shirt or leggings and sports top.

(We were on the coast and I haven’t got a large wardrobe here - what they called a lowboy back in the day). I began looking at fashion blogs for mature women for idle guidance. After Lockdown, I wondered if I should be dressing for me, or dressing to impress? What should I put together? Most noticeably, was it worth it anyway?

One blogger that I still follow dresses with quiet elegance and has some subtle hints on how to make the most of oneself. Last week, Susan talked about authenticity and asked if readers noticed how comfortable they felt when they dressed authentically.

I thought about that.

What is being authentic? What is authenticity? What, I asked, is an authentic self? That last question seems to be quite self-indulgent and yet it’s apparently a definable psychological term.

“Your authentic self is who you really are deep down. The part of you that doesn't care what others think. Authenticity happens when your words, actions, and behaviors consistently match your core identity.” Psychology Today, 13 Dec 2022

So I should be dressing for who I am deep down… everything about me (actions and words) should speak to whatever my identity is? But here’s the puzzling thing. What is my identity?

A jigsaw, if you ask me, made of many different pieces that link together to form a picture of my life.

I was still no clearer.

Interestingly, I had been admiring the rather chic denim jackets (Chanel style) that Susanafter60.com often wore and so I purchased one online. It arrived. I pulled it on. But it just wasn’t me. Where would I wear it? Does my lifestyle really allow for such a jacket? But as I packed it up to return to the store, a light clicked on.

I could see my core identity was an introvert who is happiest at home, grubbing round in the garden, walking barefoot on the beach or year-round ocean swimming and yes, wearing an apron to do chores. My core identity likes to be neat and likes to wear makeup and have decent hair. (Unlike the image above!) but fashionable?

And anyway, being authentic, does any of that really matter?

For 10 years, I was the Volunteer Coordinator for the local branch of the international cancer charity, Look Good Feel Better . The theory here is that when you have lost your health, your hair, eyebrows, eyelashes, feel lousy with chemo and radiotherapy and catch sight of your reflection in mirror or window, or catch a glimpse of the expressions of friends and family when they see you looking so battered, it’s hard to raise any energy to cope with the illness and treatment.

The utter surprise and joy of patients when they see themselves after they have made themselves up (with free cosmetics overflowing from a gifted showbag) is thrilling, heartwarming and affirming. They can see that it is possible to feel better even if it is sham and faux. It gives them strength.

So yes, it has always mattered to present me for me.

But back to authenticity…

Society puts such pressure on us to be anything but authentic. We hide, don’t we? Behind clothes, makeup, cars, houses, styled interiors, behind diamonds and sapphires, behind glitz and gloss when in truth, no one really knows what goes on behind the curtain.

Gosh! This authenticity thing was becoming harder the more I thought about it. I have soul-deep thoughts and feelings about where I wish we could all progress in the future. I’m a wife, mum and grandmother first and foremost. Then a sister, cousin, friend. I have likes and dislikes. If my dislike is aroused – boom!

So how does any of that help me dress to my authentic self?

Crikey, it’d mean I’d be dressed as a wildlife/environmental/peace activist/gardener with swimsuit, ballet shoes, leotard, chocolate and embroidery in a backpack, dog by my side, comfortable shoes for heavens’ sake, and a notebook to keep writing.

So where’s my need for divine pointed toe shoes with heels, and a faux Chanel jacket in all of that?

It’s not being authentic and truthful.

Instead, I need to just be me being me in the best way I can, and hoping that the world will be kind to me and mine.

And to yours too.

***

Briefly, if you have time, do watch I Used to Be Famous and The Beautiful Game on Netflix. They are lovely movies with authentic stories that will cause a few tears but leave one feeling good about life in what is just one more tough world week.

And try and catch Bluey – The Sign. Who doesn’t love Australia’s little blue heeler? I had a bit of a weep at that too. But that’s another part of my authentic self. Happy to let my emotions spill over whenever.

Music?

This. Why? Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because its retro, romantic and authentic for its time.