Ups and downs

for Knots in the String...

‘Life is just a series of peaks and troughs. And you don’t know whether you’re in a trough until you’re climbing out, or on a peak until you’re coming down.’ Ricky Gervais

I think my week became a trough when I walked into the skin specialist to have the sutures of a biopsy removed.

I’ve had lots of biopsies through the years. All bar one have been common basal cell carcinomas with no dramas attached. I’ve had one squamous spot on my thigh which has popped up twice, but with diligence, is currently behaving itself.

I just love ‘Out-Doors’ (Say it the way Mr. Tumnas says ‘Ward-Robe’ in The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe). In my early years, we had no knowledge of skin cancer, and no preventative lotions and life was just for diving in and swimming around under the blazing sun.

When preventative lotions were released, and conscious of a million freckles, I spread the creams all over the skin, and wore hats (and even shirts) over my swimsuits. But the damage was done. Half my life spent in ever-strengthening sunbeams.

The sutures came out and then the specialist invited me into his room, asking me to take a seat. I knew before he said a thing that it was bad news. In the past, he’s ducked into the treatment room after the nurse removed stitches and said ‘All’s well. See you in a few months.’

Everything in his consulting room moved into sharp focus. Lights, paintings on the walls, the spray can of dry ice for freezing uncomplicated lumps and bumps, my medical files. The timber of the bookcase glowed more than it ever has, and my heartbeat began to pick up pace.

He told me I have an invasive carcinoma. I must now attend a reconstructive surgeon to have the rest of the cancer removed, along with a skin graft.

Crikey! (Actually I thought a much more profane word but crikey’ll do here.)

And where is this thingy?

On my right ear, for heaven’s sake!

This cancer is on the driver’s side of my head, the side against the right car window. We drive on the right side of the car here in Australia and sometimes the sun burns through the glass. The skin specialist believes that the carcinoma was caused in the car as I drove the many kilometres of life.

But NOT on the beach, or IN the sea, or Out-Doors, and I’m so glad because over the years, I’ve told myself that every freckle on my body was a map of the best days of my life. A life spent staying at our family’s beach side cottage and swimming in the river and sea. When I was young, I’d enter that sparkling aqua water after breakfast and would pretty well swim and play until dinner. We’d sail, we’d flop around on lilos and in dinghies, we’d fish, ride horses, surf.

A Swallows and Amazons existence I’ve never regretted.

Am I scared?

Yes.

I don’t want to lose any part of my ear and the imagination is a ripe old thing.

So there.

Evidently, ‘you don’t know whether you’re in a trough until you’re climbing out,’ and it appears I’m about to start climbing…

Bookshelves:

Finished Marillier’s Song of Flight in print. What a marvellous ballad. I’m such a fan of this writer and of this series. She never disappoints. Her worlds are so familiar and yet not, and frightening for that.

Finished Margolyes This Much is True in audio. FANTASTIC! Her memoir has been the brightness in my life this week. I’ve laughed such a lot, nearly driven off the road, and I’ve sat spellbound with her honesty, poignancy and philosophy.

Finished Michie’s Awaken the Kitten Within on Kindle. So good and am devastated I’ve finished as it was such a helpful thing to read in trying times, let alone being a plain good read. In addition, and despite that I am a dog person, His Holiness’s Cat is my new yogi.

I do have a love-hate relationship with finishing books. On the one hand, I’ve had a wonderful time reading and get to start something new and exciting, but on the other hand I feel bereft. Yin and Yang.

Boredom Busters:

Gardening…

…walking with Dog in the country and on the coast…

…reading, stitching.

But mostly helping brother prepare his property for sale.

Watching:

Finished thirty episodes of the beautifully produced BBC Gardeners’ World with Monty Don.

Enter the stage of being bereaved with the conclusion of that series, and no sign yet that Britbox are releasing more series.

So I moved on to The Great British Sewing Bee. Do click on this link and read the Guardian’s review of the show. It’s quite fun.

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2020/apr/22/the-great-british-sewing-bee-review-flawless-pleats-are-the-perfect-retreat

I used to sew some of my clothes, so I love seeing what the talented contestants do under pressure and without any diva-nastiness. It’s a nice show… (Does ‘nice’ have a role in our world? It should…)

Husband and self binged Netflix’s Anatomy of a Scandal. Such a tight production, consummate acting from the likes of Michelle Dockery, Sienna Miller and Rupert Friend and mirroring the worst of conservative politicians globally. Would love to see this government taken down in a second series. Dockery is so clever at containing such a violent history inside her cool legal persona. Other lawyers would have recused themselves, but she had an agenda.

In town solo for a night and wanting to watch something completely undemanding – I watched two episodes of Netflix’s Heartland. I was once a devotee but am so disappointed that there are only echoes and whispers of the show it used to be. I’ll see this out and hope the series retires with grace.

So that’s it – peaks and troughs, ups and downs. But we’re all still here, still finding the best of life – good friends, kind thoughts, hugs and support. It’s all that matters…

Thank you for sticking with me thus far and please feel free to share the newsletter with anyone at all.

Toodles!