Oh my goodness Prue!! What has happened to your self-confidence!! The Prue we see on these pages is gracious and generous, someone to be looked up to, someone who tries and succeeds at so many things!
Yes, you’re an introvert, but I don’t think I’ve ever met a good writer who wasn’t!!! There’s a huge number of people in this world who would much rather experience an intriguing foggy walk than attend a literary ‘event’! I am most definitely one of them. I’m not sure you could pay me to go to that sort of thing anymore.
Anyway, I’m sending heaps of uplifting thoughts, just as you have added some glorious uplifting images to my afternoon. Thank goodness for the rain! Thank goodness the sheep are shorn! Thank goodness you get to sample those amazing crafts! Thank goodness for that foggy walk.
Sending heaps of hugs and best wishes dear Prue. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
I don't know that my self-confidence is any different now than what it's been forever - it's just that I'm enunciating it now because I've got nothing to hide. I am what I am and will be always.
Perhaps introverts always second guess themselves when they're with extrovert others because they live such quiet lives. I'm not sure.
In respect of my writing and talking about it, it may be because those few I mix with don't understand the writer's psyche, have no concept of writing, don't understand the publishing game and honestly, if its not on Dymocks' or Big W shelves, they're not interested anyway.
Fair enough. I love writing and words and that's all the matters when you come down to it.
OMG, that rain was FANTASTIC! Even if there's mud on the Pupsicle's tummy at the end of a walk. If we have follow-up rains next week, I think Tassie'll be okay! Huzzah!
And that foggy night walk - it was simply wonderful. It filled the writer's heart with joy and I filed it away to use in a book at some point.
This is what I love about Substack. You and I both live in little Australian rural communities. We visit the ‘big city’ reasonably regularly but are so much happier in our quiet little bit of paradise. Substack gives us the chance to connect with people with very different views and experiences.
Thinking through the people I follow, I think that most of them are introverts too. Some of the younger ones are a bit more outgoing and confident but most of us are older, are really happy with our lives and just happy to share and learn.
Substack is a writers’ forum. I am honoured to follow you. Hugs my dear.
Beth your comments are a post in themselves ♥️ what a special place this is. I love learning from the introverted women in my life! Quiet work that encourages ‘going in’ is how we get to know ourselves. I think people who tend to judge this are in fact intimidated by creativity, its lack of binary answers. Hopefully someday they will unleash their own creativity, we all have it! xo
Beautiful comment, Lindsay. 'Lack of binary answers...'
I think of some of my acquaintances and it is most definitely lack of understanding of creativity or any real wish to understand, and sadly at the age some have reached, I don't think they will unleash a creative force.
Sad for them. I’m grateful to have had mentors in my life who showed me first hand HOW to work art into your life. Not everyone had that. I’m just seriously stepping into it now at 52. It’s takes a while sometimes. The monetary part, or lack of, like @Sally Frawley said is what made me feel self conscious over the years… I’m over that now. Lack of estrogen helps with this? Who knows. Either way, onward!
Ah, money. There was a time when royalties paid for a complete new laundry (which I love - I spend a lot of time in the laundry) but these days with rising cost of living, royalties might pay for fuel and coffee if I'm lucky. And yet... I could no more stop writing than fly. I love that it could be estrogen lack that causes this freewheeling feeling. There will be no stopping me!
Oh Prue a topic very close to my heart, and something I still grapple with.
The dreaded 'what do you do?' For a long time I called myself a domestic engineer, because i think running a house and growing a family is truly a feat of engineering, but now i try to say with pride 'I was a stay at home mum and now I'm an empty nester'
When I heard the forecast and warnings for your side of the island, i thought of you and your water restrictions and really hoped this time the rain band would deliver. It seems it did
Oh Kate - it was marvellous and what I call wet rain which sinks into the bones of the earth. Just what we needed.
I think the 'what do you do?' comment is almost as fatuous as the 'which school did you go to?' And I absolutely love smiling brightly and saying Trevallyn Primary School, Riverside High School, Launceston Matric and then the University of Tasmania. It rather makes those private school baby boomers step back and I don't mind at all.
I’m sensing a content lady who loves every minute of her life, who adores her family, and who is a gifted writer.
I was a stay-at-home mum too and don’t regret it for one second. Spending those first formative years with our children is priceless and the bond that I have with my daughter as a result is incredible. I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
Life throws all sorts of curved balls at us but if we reach our this stage of our lives and are content with our lot, that’s enough for me, and I get the feeling it’s absolutely fine with you too, Prue. I think you’re living your best life and from your gorgeous descriptive prose, it sounds pretty good to me. Why should we care what others think of us anyway? Go Prue!
Exactly so, Rosy. All any of us want is good health and to live life to the very best of our abilities. Anything else is just froth and frippery, isn't it? Golly, good name for a book or a Substack account!
Lovely Prue at 55 this reflection resonated with me so deeply. Whenever I'm asked what do I shrunk, mumbling out a response knowing that a life of a creative who inhabits her passions at home and earns a meager living from such doesn't seem like much. I had a similar conversation with a friend recently who offered a comment from her friend to her that maybe at our age we should just live our beautiful lives and inhale it all as we are xx
Oh Prue, your gentle words seem to appear at a time when I need them most. I’ll hasten to add, that I’m not huddled in a corner in the depths of despair. However I’m sometimes unknowingly melancholic. Perhaps it’s a factor of age. Haha, I’ve just made a huffing sound à la Olive Kitteridge. Thank you for saying out loud what I feel. It has taken me considerable time to appreciate this gentler stage of my life and more especially, that I have more control over how I spend it.
P.s. I envy you the embroidery workshop. I love that sort of stuff! 😂 most especially in the company of like minded people.
It's all about likeminded people, isn't it? Kindred spirits, and I think that's what I love and truly appreciate about those who are following Knots in the String. Through the magic of faeries and iron filings, we've all been drawn together. Onward with a soft footfall, hey?
"I am what I am and will be always..." Prue, thank you. I just wish I'd had the courage to say this years ago. But I'm learning. It's strange how we writers often have the imposter syndrome even in the 'real' life we live. A lovely uplifting post.
I think I might be channelling Annie from Passage and Act III who talks about Imposter Syndrome. I firmly believe that I have it. Strange, isn't it? That none of us believe in our skills?
Even some very successful mainstream friends of mine have the same condition. I really must do more reading on it and why folk don't believe in themselves.
I have a friend who is an Adlerian counseller. She firmly believes it stems from what we were taught about ourselves a child. And she says it's not always the parents' fault,it how they were brought up. So it's a vicious circle, unless we break it ourselves, realise we weren't responsible for what happened to us as children. It's hard to grasp. I've just started reading a book by Laura Kennedy, called Some of our Parts. I found her here on Substack last week and took a punt on it. Bit of an eye-opener. For me anyway.
I think our parents were growing as parents in the dying embers of Victorian parenting. My parents were the most loving beings - kind, and good listeners as well as being disciplinarians. I'd hate to blame them for anyhting. In my case, any lack of confidence I think was entirely a product of society and its undisciplined norms - eg bullying. Just a thought.
One way or another we went out into society with whatever strengths we had, Prue. I learned to understand that my parents lost their youth to the second world war and the after effects, and totally didn't understand what came next - the sixties. If you grew up as the same time as me it was turbulent as far as young people were concerned, and we weren't sure how to handle life - and others who were the same age. And you're so right about the bullying.
Too true, Judith. Mine grew with the post-war stringency but they gave my brother and I a life that was so filled with coastal freedom - boats, fishing, sailing, swimming, building cubbies, riding bikes. I can't thank them enough for what they went without to make sure we had the best life.
As to the sixties - I think poor Dad suffered badly. He just didn't understand the music, the makeup, the hair and clothes. It's quite funny when we look back on it.
For me, turbulence was the primary school bullying and then the un-accustomed freedoms of university in late 60's/early 70's. But I'm alive to tell the tale...
It sounds to have been a wonderful childhood, Prue. I was a fat, bespecled child who was never in one of the popular groups. It was more isolation than bullying , I guess. And, at home, my mother had her hands full keeping my father happy. I wasn't allowed to go to university, so it was the civil servicxe for me. But I gained a degree and a masters in my thirties, with the total support of my husband, who is still brilliant and thinks everything I write is fantastic - even though it's often not.☺️ It's been good chatting with you here, Prue, thank you for sharing. It's appreciated.
I understand much of what you’ve written about, in terms of self-confidence (as I see it) around others these days. To be honest, now that I’m well and truly retired from my education career, and the exhaustion (but wonderful!) of caring for pre school aged grandkids some days a week.. they are now adults, I kind of like my life of anonymity and being an observer not a direct participant! That’s me for now anyway. So glad to read about the rain…and to connect with you here on Substack!
Such a resonant post Prue. I knew when I was reading it that you would get a lot of like-minded souls chiming in and sure enough, the comments are heart-filled too. You have drawn in a lovely group of thoughtful, introspective people who so much appreciate your wise observations.
I always felt that even when I had a job to describe in answer to 'what I do' it was either never a good enough job (or not noble enough), nor was it really describing who I am or was. It just felt fraught to answer. Now like when people ask where I am from. Always a long pause whilst quickly judging what they might be prepared to hear as an answer.
Anyway, we all love the work that you do and that you share with us. It is always enough and always a pleasure to read and mull over. And Hooray for rain!!!!
It's funny about the wisdom bit - I NEVER consider myself wise and I am very sure my kids don't see me as wise. I'd love to be but I am oft acting from gut instinct. Is that wise?
Prue, I am calling the influence of the Full Moon on how you are feeling because I am feeling it myself! Of all people that I know you are so very accomplished and not in just one limited facet either. I DO know that feeling of people trying to put you in a box (and follow up with a quick chaser of judgment!). But honestly, in my experience, these people are usually so vapid they are not to be even given a second thought. Your life is so full and you are such a fierce spark - to know you is to love you AND be inspired. I *certainly* am. I understand the writing part too - it's only very, very recently that I have even referred to myself as a writer. Being an introvert is a very good thing though. And I feel that the Hildegaard chant was just for me. And I thank you xo
It's a strange thing - this lesser view of ourselves. Is it lack of confidence or just a retiring nature?
And privately, who wants to be categorised? Grr!
I think everyone who writes here either as a presenter or commenter, they are the fierce ones, the inspiring ones. It's a great club to belong to. XXXX
Dear Prue, so pleased that you have had some rain finally.. I know what you mean about "wet rain" we say the same here Glad that the sheep were all shorn too x .
Reading about the your comments on the Bayeaux tapestry do you follow Mia's Bayeaux tapestry story on facebook, she's been sewing a replica for 11 years. I thought you might be interested your embroidery of the ship is stunning, sadly my skills aren't up to it. . I think I'll stick to cross stitch ;)
I think as women we don't value ourselves as much as we should, maybe we should look around and see what we all have achieved but we don't like blowing our own trumpet, we just are how we are.
I am are happy with the life we are living, its so different to the life I had growing up for sure. I think I turned out ok despite my mother. But I suppose my childhood shaped me too,.. making sure I don't turn out like her!!
But overall I am content and happy.
The love of family and friends help
Guy of Gisborne.. loved your book , and your interpretation of him. You are who you are meant to be. A talented writer, mother, friend, dancer stitcher and a dear and friend
Libby, thank you for the link. Mia's achievement is astonishing! I think you could handle the Bayeux work easily. Once you know the stitch it's very straightforward and no counting!
I'm content with my life too - bells and whistles days are done and I like following the turn of the seasons through the gardens and in the outdoors. I suspect you're the same. Tonight, being on the coast and the skies being clear, we hope to see the little moon they're talking about, when we walk the dog.
Thank you re Gisborne. Sometimes it seems so long ago...
Prue, I thought you'd like the link, she is amazing. Yes I'm happy just to spend time with family and dear friends, just going through life and enjoying it where we can.
Re counting I did discover "pattern Keeper" its an app, it cost just under ten pounds and is the best £10 I've ever spend I use it on a 10" in tablet and you can zoom in and out,
the symbols are all down the side alongside the number and how many sts of that colour still to do. You can even "frog" it. So much easier than pen and highlighter which is what I used to do. it only works on PDF patterns . some people convert paper patterns but that's beyond my capability. It does what I need. x That's enough for me.x
Poring over comments here, I see I'm not alone in relating to your feelings of uncertainty and insecurity, nor to seeing you as someone strong, confident and accomplished. I get how those can both be true: For me, it's not that I lack the will or don't believe in what I'm achieving, rather it's that that so many don't seem to understand it at all. That and the fact that being in the company of people who aren't driven by similar ideologies is exhausting.
Anyway, what you're doing is beautiful. Keep it up!
Again, thrilled you got rain. Glad the sheep are shorn. Wonderful little film.
I have failed at sharing friendships with those who don't share similar ideologies. I don't want to listen to their chatter, to their arguments. Life is too short and I'd rather mix with kindred spirits, I'm afraid. I'm content to just paddle my own canoe, I guess. And that's fine. Each to their own...
I was so chuffed when I found that little film - it was quite simply perfect.
I appreciate your honesty, Prue, and agree that the anonymity of Substack can be an encouragement. It's a wonderful community. Hooray for the rain, hooray for successful shearing, and the unexpected sights on your nighttime river fog walk. The tapestry workshop sounds incredible, the history of the craft felt grounding.
Felt massive relief at your rain. Very, very happy for you…and what a wonderful read today, accompanied by that gorgeous chant. It went so perfectly with the description of your walk. It absolutely felt like the beginning of a story…as for Imposter Syndrome. Will it never go? I have it for pretty much everything in my life that matters to me - except as a Mum and Grandma. I know that’s what I am and I know I’m good at it! But so surprised to know you suffer from it too - you are right. Perception is all. Btw - the Bayeux Tapestry is coming to the British Museum. Good excuse for a visit? Or we could do a video call and walk through it together?
Yes, I knew the Bayeux Tapestry was coming to the BM. In fact yesterday, in a spooky moment, a picture popped up on Insta, showing all the birches planted outside the BM as symbolic of the tapestry. Each phase of the narrative on the tapestry is broken up with depictions of trees (odd looking ones), and that's why you'll see trees in front of the BM.
Video call sounds super.
Much cheaper than flying over. There's always something - lambing, possibly a new UTV for the farm, cars in need of massive services, townhouse painting, ankle op before the end of the year - etc etc.
Imposter Syndrome? Time for research maybe. Only people like Donald Trump believe in their own perfection and I think I'm VERY happy to be one of those who perhaps don't see themselves in such a light. Imagine being like him!!!!!!
Three inches of glorious rain! I’m so happy for you and your family and community!
Well, perception really *is* everything, because I see you as having an incredible and expansive life, full of marvelous experiences and adventures 🤩 And I’m forever impressed how you have the energy and wisdom to do, and accomplish so many fascinating things!
Wonderful post, Prue, as I believe many of us question our “legitimacy” regarding what we prioritize and how we choose to spend our lives.
Motherhood as the second-oldest tradition (according to Erma Bombeck) doesn’t receive the recognition and honor that it should. Women who prefer to devote themselves full-time to child-rearing are a dying breed.
My daughter-in-law (college-educated) gave up her career to be a full-time mom. In a conversation with an insurance agent, who was filling out paperwork for a new policy, she followed my son’s resume with the comment that she was “just a stay-at-home mom.”
Of course, I reminded her of all the advantages that it provides for her daughters, as well as my son. Anyone who thinks it’s easy has never done it (if they’re doing it well). That’s not to mitigate women who work outside the home. They’ve got twice as much to deal with, and home chores are often put on the back burner so that they can be more fully present for their kids.
And I love the expression “arty-farty!” It’s another variation of artsy-fartsy, which is one I use.
Also, I must be having technical difficulties with Substack, as I haven’t been seeing many of my “regulars” on the platform. I’m still trying to work out what changed or if I inadvertently clicked something in error. That’s why I haven’t commented lately; my apologies!
No apology necessary. Sometimes life interferes as well.
I'm glad I could be one of the small cohort who were always available to do reading duty, excursion duty etc in the early days of the kids' schools and then later, volunteering for fund-raising, school-archive care and so forth. And being Mum's taxi as well. Or best of all, being present and available when the kids were sick or injured at school. I never saw it as onerous, home was a haven for me and we just balanced our budget to one income so that I could be there for the kids. XXXX
Mother Nature provides, just not always exactly when we think it is necessary. I always enjoy your musings, have often been appalled by the arty-farty types, and love my time swimming alone, not talking about what I do and then writing here, yes, somewhat anonymously, and yet from the heart and soul. Paradoxes.
Thanks for sharing your sheep shearing! Glorious wool. ~J
Oh my goodness Prue!! What has happened to your self-confidence!! The Prue we see on these pages is gracious and generous, someone to be looked up to, someone who tries and succeeds at so many things!
Yes, you’re an introvert, but I don’t think I’ve ever met a good writer who wasn’t!!! There’s a huge number of people in this world who would much rather experience an intriguing foggy walk than attend a literary ‘event’! I am most definitely one of them. I’m not sure you could pay me to go to that sort of thing anymore.
Anyway, I’m sending heaps of uplifting thoughts, just as you have added some glorious uplifting images to my afternoon. Thank goodness for the rain! Thank goodness the sheep are shorn! Thank goodness you get to sample those amazing crafts! Thank goodness for that foggy walk.
Sending heaps of hugs and best wishes dear Prue. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Bless you, dear Beth for what you have said.
I don't know that my self-confidence is any different now than what it's been forever - it's just that I'm enunciating it now because I've got nothing to hide. I am what I am and will be always.
Perhaps introverts always second guess themselves when they're with extrovert others because they live such quiet lives. I'm not sure.
In respect of my writing and talking about it, it may be because those few I mix with don't understand the writer's psyche, have no concept of writing, don't understand the publishing game and honestly, if its not on Dymocks' or Big W shelves, they're not interested anyway.
Fair enough. I love writing and words and that's all the matters when you come down to it.
OMG, that rain was FANTASTIC! Even if there's mud on the Pupsicle's tummy at the end of a walk. If we have follow-up rains next week, I think Tassie'll be okay! Huzzah!
And that foggy night walk - it was simply wonderful. It filled the writer's heart with joy and I filed it away to use in a book at some point.
Life is an experience, isn't it?
This is what I love about Substack. You and I both live in little Australian rural communities. We visit the ‘big city’ reasonably regularly but are so much happier in our quiet little bit of paradise. Substack gives us the chance to connect with people with very different views and experiences.
Thinking through the people I follow, I think that most of them are introverts too. Some of the younger ones are a bit more outgoing and confident but most of us are older, are really happy with our lives and just happy to share and learn.
Substack is a writers’ forum. I am honoured to follow you. Hugs my dear.
I agree with you. Substack is the greatest find over the last few years - I just love the content that comes through to my email.
Have a great weekend, Beth.
Beth your comments are a post in themselves ♥️ what a special place this is. I love learning from the introverted women in my life! Quiet work that encourages ‘going in’ is how we get to know ourselves. I think people who tend to judge this are in fact intimidated by creativity, its lack of binary answers. Hopefully someday they will unleash their own creativity, we all have it! xo
🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Beautiful comment, Lindsay. 'Lack of binary answers...'
I think of some of my acquaintances and it is most definitely lack of understanding of creativity or any real wish to understand, and sadly at the age some have reached, I don't think they will unleash a creative force.
Sad for them. I’m grateful to have had mentors in my life who showed me first hand HOW to work art into your life. Not everyone had that. I’m just seriously stepping into it now at 52. It’s takes a while sometimes. The monetary part, or lack of, like @Sally Frawley said is what made me feel self conscious over the years… I’m over that now. Lack of estrogen helps with this? Who knows. Either way, onward!
Ah, money. There was a time when royalties paid for a complete new laundry (which I love - I spend a lot of time in the laundry) but these days with rising cost of living, royalties might pay for fuel and coffee if I'm lucky. And yet... I could no more stop writing than fly. I love that it could be estrogen lack that causes this freewheeling feeling. There will be no stopping me!
Oh Prue a topic very close to my heart, and something I still grapple with.
The dreaded 'what do you do?' For a long time I called myself a domestic engineer, because i think running a house and growing a family is truly a feat of engineering, but now i try to say with pride 'I was a stay at home mum and now I'm an empty nester'
When I heard the forecast and warnings for your side of the island, i thought of you and your water restrictions and really hoped this time the rain band would deliver. It seems it did
Oh Kate - it was marvellous and what I call wet rain which sinks into the bones of the earth. Just what we needed.
I think the 'what do you do?' comment is almost as fatuous as the 'which school did you go to?' And I absolutely love smiling brightly and saying Trevallyn Primary School, Riverside High School, Launceston Matric and then the University of Tasmania. It rather makes those private school baby boomers step back and I don't mind at all.
Naughty, aren't I? XXXX
I’m sensing a content lady who loves every minute of her life, who adores her family, and who is a gifted writer.
I was a stay-at-home mum too and don’t regret it for one second. Spending those first formative years with our children is priceless and the bond that I have with my daughter as a result is incredible. I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
Life throws all sorts of curved balls at us but if we reach our this stage of our lives and are content with our lot, that’s enough for me, and I get the feeling it’s absolutely fine with you too, Prue. I think you’re living your best life and from your gorgeous descriptive prose, it sounds pretty good to me. Why should we care what others think of us anyway? Go Prue!
Exactly so, Rosy. All any of us want is good health and to live life to the very best of our abilities. Anything else is just froth and frippery, isn't it? Golly, good name for a book or a Substack account!
Froth and frippery - I like it!
Lovely Prue at 55 this reflection resonated with me so deeply. Whenever I'm asked what do I shrunk, mumbling out a response knowing that a life of a creative who inhabits her passions at home and earns a meager living from such doesn't seem like much. I had a similar conversation with a friend recently who offered a comment from her friend to her that maybe at our age we should just live our beautiful lives and inhale it all as we are xx
Inhale it! Yes, yes, and yes, Sally.
Oh Prue, your gentle words seem to appear at a time when I need them most. I’ll hasten to add, that I’m not huddled in a corner in the depths of despair. However I’m sometimes unknowingly melancholic. Perhaps it’s a factor of age. Haha, I’ve just made a huffing sound à la Olive Kitteridge. Thank you for saying out loud what I feel. It has taken me considerable time to appreciate this gentler stage of my life and more especially, that I have more control over how I spend it.
P.s. I envy you the embroidery workshop. I love that sort of stuff! 😂 most especially in the company of like minded people.
It's all about likeminded people, isn't it? Kindred spirits, and I think that's what I love and truly appreciate about those who are following Knots in the String. Through the magic of faeries and iron filings, we've all been drawn together. Onward with a soft footfall, hey?
"I am what I am and will be always..." Prue, thank you. I just wish I'd had the courage to say this years ago. But I'm learning. It's strange how we writers often have the imposter syndrome even in the 'real' life we live. A lovely uplifting post.
Hi Judith. Thank you for commenting so honestly.
I think I might be channelling Annie from Passage and Act III who talks about Imposter Syndrome. I firmly believe that I have it. Strange, isn't it? That none of us believe in our skills?
Even some very successful mainstream friends of mine have the same condition. I really must do more reading on it and why folk don't believe in themselves.
I have a friend who is an Adlerian counseller. She firmly believes it stems from what we were taught about ourselves a child. And she says it's not always the parents' fault,it how they were brought up. So it's a vicious circle, unless we break it ourselves, realise we weren't responsible for what happened to us as children. It's hard to grasp. I've just started reading a book by Laura Kennedy, called Some of our Parts. I found her here on Substack last week and took a punt on it. Bit of an eye-opener. For me anyway.
I think our parents were growing as parents in the dying embers of Victorian parenting. My parents were the most loving beings - kind, and good listeners as well as being disciplinarians. I'd hate to blame them for anyhting. In my case, any lack of confidence I think was entirely a product of society and its undisciplined norms - eg bullying. Just a thought.
One way or another we went out into society with whatever strengths we had, Prue. I learned to understand that my parents lost their youth to the second world war and the after effects, and totally didn't understand what came next - the sixties. If you grew up as the same time as me it was turbulent as far as young people were concerned, and we weren't sure how to handle life - and others who were the same age. And you're so right about the bullying.
Too true, Judith. Mine grew with the post-war stringency but they gave my brother and I a life that was so filled with coastal freedom - boats, fishing, sailing, swimming, building cubbies, riding bikes. I can't thank them enough for what they went without to make sure we had the best life.
As to the sixties - I think poor Dad suffered badly. He just didn't understand the music, the makeup, the hair and clothes. It's quite funny when we look back on it.
For me, turbulence was the primary school bullying and then the un-accustomed freedoms of university in late 60's/early 70's. But I'm alive to tell the tale...
It sounds to have been a wonderful childhood, Prue. I was a fat, bespecled child who was never in one of the popular groups. It was more isolation than bullying , I guess. And, at home, my mother had her hands full keeping my father happy. I wasn't allowed to go to university, so it was the civil servicxe for me. But I gained a degree and a masters in my thirties, with the total support of my husband, who is still brilliant and thinks everything I write is fantastic - even though it's often not.☺️ It's been good chatting with you here, Prue, thank you for sharing. It's appreciated.
I understand much of what you’ve written about, in terms of self-confidence (as I see it) around others these days. To be honest, now that I’m well and truly retired from my education career, and the exhaustion (but wonderful!) of caring for pre school aged grandkids some days a week.. they are now adults, I kind of like my life of anonymity and being an observer not a direct participant! That’s me for now anyway. So glad to read about the rain…and to connect with you here on Substack!
Blessings, Denyse.
Such a resonant post Prue. I knew when I was reading it that you would get a lot of like-minded souls chiming in and sure enough, the comments are heart-filled too. You have drawn in a lovely group of thoughtful, introspective people who so much appreciate your wise observations.
I always felt that even when I had a job to describe in answer to 'what I do' it was either never a good enough job (or not noble enough), nor was it really describing who I am or was. It just felt fraught to answer. Now like when people ask where I am from. Always a long pause whilst quickly judging what they might be prepared to hear as an answer.
Anyway, we all love the work that you do and that you share with us. It is always enough and always a pleasure to read and mull over. And Hooray for rain!!!!
The feeling is very very mutual, Sabrina.
It's funny about the wisdom bit - I NEVER consider myself wise and I am very sure my kids don't see me as wise. I'd love to be but I am oft acting from gut instinct. Is that wise?
Philosophy at 9.15 AM my time!!!!
Much love!
Prue, I am calling the influence of the Full Moon on how you are feeling because I am feeling it myself! Of all people that I know you are so very accomplished and not in just one limited facet either. I DO know that feeling of people trying to put you in a box (and follow up with a quick chaser of judgment!). But honestly, in my experience, these people are usually so vapid they are not to be even given a second thought. Your life is so full and you are such a fierce spark - to know you is to love you AND be inspired. I *certainly* am. I understand the writing part too - it's only very, very recently that I have even referred to myself as a writer. Being an introvert is a very good thing though. And I feel that the Hildegaard chant was just for me. And I thank you xo
It's a strange thing - this lesser view of ourselves. Is it lack of confidence or just a retiring nature?
And privately, who wants to be categorised? Grr!
I think everyone who writes here either as a presenter or commenter, they are the fierce ones, the inspiring ones. It's a great club to belong to. XXXX
I love that Sue, a “fierce spark”! Yes, Prue has it, and so do you!
Dear Prue, so pleased that you have had some rain finally.. I know what you mean about "wet rain" we say the same here Glad that the sheep were all shorn too x .
Reading about the your comments on the Bayeaux tapestry do you follow Mia's Bayeaux tapestry story on facebook, she's been sewing a replica for 11 years. I thought you might be interested your embroidery of the ship is stunning, sadly my skills aren't up to it. . I think I'll stick to cross stitch ;)
Hopefully this link might work .
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1139246322780314
I think as women we don't value ourselves as much as we should, maybe we should look around and see what we all have achieved but we don't like blowing our own trumpet, we just are how we are.
I am are happy with the life we are living, its so different to the life I had growing up for sure. I think I turned out ok despite my mother. But I suppose my childhood shaped me too,.. making sure I don't turn out like her!!
But overall I am content and happy.
The love of family and friends help
Guy of Gisborne.. loved your book , and your interpretation of him. You are who you are meant to be. A talented writer, mother, friend, dancer stitcher and a dear and friend
x
Libby, thank you for the link. Mia's achievement is astonishing! I think you could handle the Bayeux work easily. Once you know the stitch it's very straightforward and no counting!
I'm content with my life too - bells and whistles days are done and I like following the turn of the seasons through the gardens and in the outdoors. I suspect you're the same. Tonight, being on the coast and the skies being clear, we hope to see the little moon they're talking about, when we walk the dog.
Thank you re Gisborne. Sometimes it seems so long ago...
Prue, I thought you'd like the link, she is amazing. Yes I'm happy just to spend time with family and dear friends, just going through life and enjoying it where we can.
Re counting I did discover "pattern Keeper" its an app, it cost just under ten pounds and is the best £10 I've ever spend I use it on a 10" in tablet and you can zoom in and out,
the symbols are all down the side alongside the number and how many sts of that colour still to do. You can even "frog" it. So much easier than pen and highlighter which is what I used to do. it only works on PDF patterns . some people convert paper patterns but that's beyond my capability. It does what I need. x That's enough for me.x
Poring over comments here, I see I'm not alone in relating to your feelings of uncertainty and insecurity, nor to seeing you as someone strong, confident and accomplished. I get how those can both be true: For me, it's not that I lack the will or don't believe in what I'm achieving, rather it's that that so many don't seem to understand it at all. That and the fact that being in the company of people who aren't driven by similar ideologies is exhausting.
Anyway, what you're doing is beautiful. Keep it up!
Again, thrilled you got rain. Glad the sheep are shorn. Wonderful little film.
I have failed at sharing friendships with those who don't share similar ideologies. I don't want to listen to their chatter, to their arguments. Life is too short and I'd rather mix with kindred spirits, I'm afraid. I'm content to just paddle my own canoe, I guess. And that's fine. Each to their own...
I was so chuffed when I found that little film - it was quite simply perfect.
I appreciate your honesty, Prue, and agree that the anonymity of Substack can be an encouragement. It's a wonderful community. Hooray for the rain, hooray for successful shearing, and the unexpected sights on your nighttime river fog walk. The tapestry workshop sounds incredible, the history of the craft felt grounding.
And follow-up rains earlier today although the light is getting brighter now. Hooray.
Felt massive relief at your rain. Very, very happy for you…and what a wonderful read today, accompanied by that gorgeous chant. It went so perfectly with the description of your walk. It absolutely felt like the beginning of a story…as for Imposter Syndrome. Will it never go? I have it for pretty much everything in my life that matters to me - except as a Mum and Grandma. I know that’s what I am and I know I’m good at it! But so surprised to know you suffer from it too - you are right. Perception is all. Btw - the Bayeux Tapestry is coming to the British Museum. Good excuse for a visit? Or we could do a video call and walk through it together?
Yes, I knew the Bayeux Tapestry was coming to the BM. In fact yesterday, in a spooky moment, a picture popped up on Insta, showing all the birches planted outside the BM as symbolic of the tapestry. Each phase of the narrative on the tapestry is broken up with depictions of trees (odd looking ones), and that's why you'll see trees in front of the BM.
Video call sounds super.
Much cheaper than flying over. There's always something - lambing, possibly a new UTV for the farm, cars in need of massive services, townhouse painting, ankle op before the end of the year - etc etc.
Imposter Syndrome? Time for research maybe. Only people like Donald Trump believe in their own perfection and I think I'm VERY happy to be one of those who perhaps don't see themselves in such a light. Imagine being like him!!!!!!
So interesting about the trees. You’ve got me wanting to read more about the BT. Going to book to go and see it in your honour.
Three inches of glorious rain! I’m so happy for you and your family and community!
Well, perception really *is* everything, because I see you as having an incredible and expansive life, full of marvelous experiences and adventures 🤩 And I’m forever impressed how you have the energy and wisdom to do, and accomplish so many fascinating things!
Wonderful post, Prue, as I believe many of us question our “legitimacy” regarding what we prioritize and how we choose to spend our lives.
Motherhood as the second-oldest tradition (according to Erma Bombeck) doesn’t receive the recognition and honor that it should. Women who prefer to devote themselves full-time to child-rearing are a dying breed.
My daughter-in-law (college-educated) gave up her career to be a full-time mom. In a conversation with an insurance agent, who was filling out paperwork for a new policy, she followed my son’s resume with the comment that she was “just a stay-at-home mom.”
Of course, I reminded her of all the advantages that it provides for her daughters, as well as my son. Anyone who thinks it’s easy has never done it (if they’re doing it well). That’s not to mitigate women who work outside the home. They’ve got twice as much to deal with, and home chores are often put on the back burner so that they can be more fully present for their kids.
And I love the expression “arty-farty!” It’s another variation of artsy-fartsy, which is one I use.
Also, I must be having technical difficulties with Substack, as I haven’t been seeing many of my “regulars” on the platform. I’m still trying to work out what changed or if I inadvertently clicked something in error. That’s why I haven’t commented lately; my apologies!
No apology necessary. Sometimes life interferes as well.
I'm glad I could be one of the small cohort who were always available to do reading duty, excursion duty etc in the early days of the kids' schools and then later, volunteering for fund-raising, school-archive care and so forth. And being Mum's taxi as well. Or best of all, being present and available when the kids were sick or injured at school. I never saw it as onerous, home was a haven for me and we just balanced our budget to one income so that I could be there for the kids. XXXX
Mother Nature provides, just not always exactly when we think it is necessary. I always enjoy your musings, have often been appalled by the arty-farty types, and love my time swimming alone, not talking about what I do and then writing here, yes, somewhat anonymously, and yet from the heart and soul. Paradoxes.
Thanks for sharing your sheep shearing! Glorious wool. ~J