In my shell...

...from Knots in the String

Once I had a little shell that originally belonged to my grandmother. It revealed an intricately carved miniature world – a tree, a house, a waterwheel and a person carting a bucket on a bamboo pole.

It filled me with delight, not least because the waterwheel turned and gave it such an air of realism. As a child I would imagine a hundred different adventures happening to that person at the waterwheel and none ever involved another character. Always solitary and never unhappy. Of course, as a child I never knew the word ‘introvert’.

I found these words in a favourite newsletter the other day:

“I am an introvert, but not the least bit shy. That confuses folks at times, and I can see why it would. As a solitary, I embrace quiet, but I’m also drawn to the intensity of one-on-one interaction. You show me your secrets, and I’ll show you mine. How nice it is to listen and observe and pay the highest compliment in offering ourselves to another.” Substack newsletter: Tom Ryan Author

I tried to remember if my little water carrier had ever passed the time of day with someone in his/her endeavours and then wondered about myself.

I’m a little like Tom, I think. I never mind my own company as I always seem to be busy with something – writing, cooking, gardening, stitching, listening to audiobooks, housekeeping. I don’t mind swimming, walking or kayaking on my own at all. And to be honest, there are times where I just need my space – that little bubble where one re-orients oneself and where solitude is enabling. I rarely feel ‘alone’ in the worst possible sense of the word. It’s a curious thing the way one’s own company can be as fulfilling as being with folk.

But I enjoy meeting my friends and talking – I have soul friends, swimming friends, stitching friends and ballet friends. But when I’m with them, I think I spend more time listening. Maybe that’s a writerly trait, tied up with the need to observe and absorb – fodder for characters and plotlines.

But maybe it’s also that there are things in life that remain intensely private. Or even things that I can’t enunciate and so keep to myself. I suspect this safety in introversion became ingrained at primary school where I was bullied and which on occasion, made me feel insecure. Whatever the case, these days I rarely leave my friends’ company feeling unhappy.

But happier than when I’m alone? Good question. Let’s just say different to when I’m alone.

Each has their merits.

***

In respect of subscribed newsletters (not necessarily through Substack) and bearing in mind that I had a huge spring clean of my in-box late last year and ditched those that in the words of Marie Kondo, didn’t ‘bring joy’, these are the ones that do bring joy on a large scale:

1.     Tom Ryan Author – Tom’s kindness, love, and powers of observation are beautifully penned. He is the author of two of my favourite books – Following Atticus and Will‘s Red Coat. The books sing to the reader about love – Tom’s love for his canine companions and for nature. He views his world with a microscopic lens and then translates it into perfect wordage. There’s a degree of the philosopher with Tom and I revel in it.

2.     The Sit Spot by author Maggie Mckellar who lives just up the coast from me. Maggie has a way with words that I crave. She enunciates every emotion I ever feel about nature, especially the farm (we also have a farm), coast, beaches and birds. Her reading is terrifyingly intellectual, and I envy her dedication to such esoteric thinking and writing.

3.     Letters of Note. I have a thing about reading old letters. It’s a privilege and an eye-opener, (voyeur-ish?). One can learn a lot.

In the last two years, one of my most favourite book purchases was Counting One’s Blessings, Selected Letters of The Queen Mother. Such etiquette, such extraordinary love and care for those who mattered in her life, such wit. (She was a devil!).

4.     Fiona McIntosh’s newsletter (free) and very visibly called Fiona Macintosh. A prolific and successful Australian writer. She always has entertaining posts filled with news of her books, her writing and her brand and she always includes a couple of excellent recipes.

5.     There are others – Australian fiction writer Meg Bignall, German business woman Bibi Horst . And to keep up with the industry in which I work, writing commentators David Gaughran and Joanna Penn.

Reading wise, I’ve finished listening to Jeffery Archer’s The Fourth Estate. Hoorah.

I’ve moved on to listen to 1356 by Bernard Cornwell. I had listened to the trilogy The Grail Quest and was fully invested in Thomas of Hookton’s life set in the 14th century and The Hundred Years War. I had that peculiar grief that one feels at the end of a good series. 1356 fills the gap. Brilliantly read by one of my favourite narrators, Jack Hawkins. Honestly, Bernard Cornwell is iconic.

(I wonder if the great BC is an introvert. I must research…)

I’ve finished reading Paris by Starlight. Dinsdale obviously has a deep love for European legend and myth and skilfully manipulates modern history into the layers of fact in his novels. The Toymakers was my debut with Dinsdale and was quietly brilliant.

On Kindle, I am stretching Henry Beston’s The Outermost House as long as I can. Part of me wants to save it for the long winter nights when perfect books wrap around one like a well-tailored jacket.

I’m also enjoying Carol Drinkwater’s An Act of Love. Many of the WWII books I’ve read lately are filled with pages of such info-dumping that the story and the characters are disappointingly lost. But Drinkwater has a deft touch with setting and information and alive with well-grounded characters.

I only read two magazines on a regular basis. One is Country Style (currently catching up with the last two issues) – a stylish (obviously) mag about the sometimes poignant but always beautiful life in country and regional areas.

The other is the esteemed quarterly journal of the Dorothy Dunnett Society of which I’m a member. Fantastic not just for Dunnett fans but for historical fiction writers and readers. Meticulous writing, great depth of knowledge and fact.

And finally…

…today I baked bread.

I have no idea why.

The house smells deliciously crusty and mouth-watering. Even homely. Maybe that’s why I baked it…

Talk again next week.

Cheers and stay safe and well.

PS: If you enjoyed time at The Knotted String, please feel free to share with any friends and through your social media.