I wish...

... for Knots in the String.

Starlight, starbright, first star I see tonight,

I wish I may, I wish I might, wish the wish I wish tonight.

The twinkling star winks back at me,

A silent promise can it be?

How often have I seen the First Star and wished on it as the heavens darken to midnight black and the firmament begins to glitter and glisten?

I went to a friend’s memorial last weekend and as I drove back to the cottage, I wished that I’d known he and his late husband for longer than the few years my husband and I had them in our lives. Whenever one was in their combined company, one laughed and laughed – they were so irreverend. And later, after David had gone, one appreciated the gentle kindness and humility of Gavan who was left behind.

It was a beautiful day to remember both of them – blue skies, that stunning view from the deck of their home, kind words, soft laughter and for those who had the fancy, raspberry gin and champagne. For others, there was plenty of elderflower, ice and lemon. I wished they both could have been there – they’d have loved the revelations, the jokes and the affection.

As if to symbolise the day, two mist-grey and white sea eagles flew above the garden, twining round, under and over – like the ballets we so often talked about. Perfection as they glided on the updrafts. Never forgetting also, that the sea eagle is my spirit animal. I miss Gav – he had a gentility and quietness about him that I appreciated, a genuineness that is very hard to find.

Ah, wishing … does it feed our souls?

I wished this week, as my son went for the first stage of his next series of lung tests that it could be good news in a fortnight. What would good news be? Status quo. It would be enough.

I wish that the seats at the Theatre Royal were not so crammed, as since the ballet on Saturday night, gluteal tendinopathy has returned. I’m zinging with a Tens machine. But what a ballet!

Romeo and Juliet was packed with equal offerings of power and delicacy; Dance of the Knights, our dance, performed with such intimidation and menace. These are top echelon dancers from the likes of the Stuttgart Ballet, La Scala, Paris Opèra, the Australian Ballet and more, a richness of talent on offer.

What a privilege to attend the performance and how super-duper to dress in some glad rags. I do, however, wish the house had been livelier in its appreciation. Perhaps the audience’s minds were on our Federal election that same day, with results drifting in from 6 PM. My wish on that point, of course, was answered in a landslide. No faux-Trumpet for us in Australia.

I wish our own ballet class hadn’t been cancelled this week as I badly need to stretch out that glute with barre-work. But these things happen.

I wish that Pup could be older and wiser to fit with our older, if not wiser demeanour. I wish I could trim his coat better, too.

I wish I had time. Time to write more. The OZMA Award was a shot in the arm, and so I want to finish Act III. I wish there were more hours in the day.

But then why does one wish one’s life away? So much better to focus on the present because that’s all we’ve got, haven’t we? Who knows what tomorrow will bring? It’ll happen soon enough.

I filmed this little excerpt from Facebook. The so-called monk’s words have a relevance to my wishful thinking. The monk is Shi Heng Yi who has a rather colourful online presence as a reputed Shaolin master. Whether he is genuine or not makes little difference to me. His words in this instance are quite powerful.

So, better to look at our little pup and thank the stars he’s here – all bright brown eyes and fangs. Not to wish his life away. Dogs are with us for such a short time in the scheme of things and he’s become very dear.

Better too, to read as much as I’ve written thus far and say, goodness, 70,000 words of Act III and counting! A few hundred today – it’ll do.

Better to enjoy talking to my son about today than worry about what might (or might not) be.

Better to wear fire-engine red because it gives me enormous pleasure amongst all those who dress in Tassie black!

Better to eat some Lindt chocolate bunny or Koko Black chocolate eggs because why not?

Better to look at the Matchbox garden and know that it’s up-to-date and can sedately put forth winter buds and leaves of primula and hellebore. And that the coast garden is approaching winter slumber ready to fill me with vibrant joy in 3 months.

Better to be back on the coast away from the city where Pups and I can walk for miles and miles, musing on Life, the Universe, and how being grateful and not wishing is far healthier than wishing and being greedy.

Don’t you think?

Music today?

And just as a tranquil extra, I include this video:

from Jennifer Granville’s Week in the Garden. I relate on many levels. I’m sure you will too.