A labyrinth of feelings…
...for Knots in the String.
This is one of those weeks where nerves are a tad stretched and where time passes too swiftly but at the same time, maddingly slowly. As if some eldritch hand is moving the clock hands forward and back and enjoying the mayhem. I think of The Labryinth for some reason, with David Bowie.
I found myself on edge this week, purely because I turned on ABC (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) Radio’s talkback on the salmon industry whilst putting on some slap.
The salmon industry arguments are hackneyed – years old. Their PR spokesman seemed unable to admit that the industry cares little about the rarest skate in the world, one that is descended unchanged from prehistoric days.
So I stood applying foundation, mascara and lippie and expostulating, my blood-pressure rising by the minute until finally, I yelled ‘Bullshit!’ and switched the radio off.
Most who know me, will know I was part of a group who fought the salmon industry and the government tooth and nail a few years ago.
To no avail – the government wouldn’t listen. Even when we organised a massive flotilla of protesters (over 3000 folk on the water and hundreds more on land).
Simply, the government doesn’t care.
It’s a #Liberal government who will always sell the notion that business will die if the environment is given the merest chance of survival.
Like I say – B-S!!!
So I stormed off to ballet, with blood flowing and the aches and pains of a wrecked right leg ignored.
Perversely, the anger made me dance without mistakes, even with ankle wraps and knee wraps and so forth. Raquel’s massively fabulous bag of Cadbury’s chocolates helped as well.
I drove home beneath a flawless blue sky, made Lindsay Cameron Wilson’s delicious Tuscan Kale and White Bean Stew
Then sat reading.
Most importantly, my favourite Substack
When I see Will with his darling face and his perfect black eyes, lying amidst his greatest joy and knowing about this strange canine pecadillo, I can do little else but weep.
A beautiful piece by Elizabeth Beggins on death.
This about my country from Sally Frawley.
And a thought-provoking piece on journaling by Ramona Grigg
that brought me down to earth with a crunch. I wondered if my Substack essays are everything Ramona says they shouldn’t be. One needs to invite the reader in. But how much, I wonder?
Knots in the String is, as I said last week, a little bit of Real Me, but not the great reveal. Even so, it turns out that many share my fears and anxieties and last week was a heart-warming response to introversion. But could I go deeper than that? Would I?
Maybe, maybe not.
My time:
*Kindle: I’ve just finished The Echo of Old Books. Four and a half stars. Haven’t chosen another yet.
*Audio: Likewise finished Matthew Harffy’s Day of Reckoning – five stars. Need a new book, must choose. Mind on other things.
*Watching:
Old People’s Home for Teenagers. So emotive, so inspiring.
The creativity and design skill that amateur stitchers exhibit on the Great British Sewing Bee is phenomenal. Another inspiring show.
Scenic Railway Journeys narrated by Bill Nighy. Breathtaking.
*Still embroidering the Kinsel bag.
I think it’s a form of displacement. Something to draw me away from the moment. But perhaps with some Spotify in the background.
I found Nat King Cole’s version of Stardust and was transported back to my young years when Dad and Mum would take us for Sunday afternoon drives:
The car radio is on, and we drive along the edge of the Tamar River to the apple and pear orchards. Mum buys supplies for our pantry. Beautiful 1950’s apples and pears, heritage types, some quinces and jars of honey.
The conditions are right, so Mum asks Dad to stop the car and she hops out and picks wild mushrooms.
Even now, I can smell the butter softening in the pan and that soft brown velvet fragrance as the mushrooms cook. Mum toasts slices of fresh cut bread, serving the mushies with a scattering of parsley from the garden. Simply perfect.
Such gentle memories…
In the meantime, as I let words and thoughts drift through my head like tenuous white cloud, I’m glad the sky is softly blue, the temperature warm enough to wrap itself around me and smooth the hairs on my arms.
The Terrier sleeps in his Calm bed, and I listen to the soft cooing of the wood pigeons and close my eyes, allowing a vestige of peace to settle over me in consequence.
I try not to think of this weekend or next week.
There are things that will take me far from my comfort zone and I might talk about one of them next week.
But tell me, what do you feel when you leave comfort zones? Are you energised?
Lucky you if so.
Song for this week?
After such a melange of thoughts, perhaps a bit of The Labryinth? (Such a triffic movie!)
Thank you so much for linking to (and liking) this week's Chicken Scratch post. Speaking of stepping outside comfort zones, I wasn't at all sure how that one would land. As if I ever am.
Thank goodness for your ballet class! Otherwise, where would all that righteous indignation (warranted!) end up? I had to sort out "putting on some slap," so I'm glad you addressed that soon after. I'm still learning the down under vernacular. 😅
I was somehow chosen/convinced to lead a session at an upcoming conference in front of at least 100 people. I thought it was to be 5-6 minutes, but it's now stretching to more than twice that. Despite years and years of public speaking, I'm losing sleep about it, and it's a month away! My comfort zone appears to be shrinking. I am more or less okay with that, so long as I don't focus too long on whether social withdrawal is more problematic than I'm willing to admit.
Prue, I'm sorry the week ahead is bringing up anxiety. With all you've been holding, I can only imagine what is being asked of you. Courage, dear heart. You likely did not see my response to Ramona's journal-scrutinizing post, but if you want to seek it out, it might bring you a bit of reassurance. Suffice to say, you are appreciated.
OMG, thanks for the shout-out, friend. Sorry if it made you nervous, but do not fret. 'Knots on a String' is perfect! I love wandering through, and I always find something to take away with me.
I didn't know about 'The Great British Sewing Bee' and now I'm going to have to look for it. Have you watched the series called 'British Landscape Artist of the Year' and 'British Portrait Artist of the Year'? They're amazing! Also, 'The Great Pottery Throw Down'. And of course I'm hooked on 'The Great British Baking Show'.
There are parts of those competitions that irritate me, mainly the tricks and the announcement delays, but I'm fascinated by the effort they make and the work they accomplish. So inspiring!